Flex Your Soul

Around the corner from my parent's tortilla shop, there was a small vacation bible school program that was held in a gymnasium. Pops had driven past it one summer morning with Gabe and I in the car and decided he'd rather have us spend that week at VBS instead of wasting it making forts out of tortilla boxes at Hacienda. Gabe and I cried pleading him not to sign us up. The image of my father standing outside his black Chevy Tahoe with two hands on my brother's legs, literally pulling him out as he held tightly onto the door handle for dear life – it makes me chuckle.

I've been an active churchgoer since my earliest days. I specifically recall the day I was baptized, attending Sunday School, and even going to Spanish speaking churches with my nanny. I've been raised in a Christian household all my life, ever since I was a lil' gangsta roaming the streets of Ferdinand with all my cousins in Southwest Detroit. I've always had an intimate connection with my faith. Prayer and attending church were simply routine. But my priorities started to get muddled as I got older.

My first workout program was called Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength. It focused on compound movements targeting the core muscles. Exercises like squats, bench press, dead lifts, good mornings. My seventh grade outlook on life turned to this: if I look good, I'll get girls. Classic Michael. So I began lifting weights. Not only was I on a training program, but I was also playing football, basketball, and running track. This continued until Senior year of high school, sans the basketball, then the football.

High school was a time where I really focused a lot on how I looked on the outside – not my style, but my body. Typical of any high schooler, of course. One friend in particular got me motivated into fitness, lifting and dieting properly. Before I knew it, I was in the weight room three to four times a week, working out with my closest friends. It was a healthy lifestyle for each of us and we developed our own little workout culture that winter in tenth grade. Of course, it felt good knowing my hard work was paying off. But something kept tugging at me. I was putting all my focus toward my physical strength so I'd look good in a mirror, but what about my spiritual strength? I'm on all these supplements to make my muscles bigger, but I'm not supplementing my spirit with fasting and prayer and attending church? Where are the compound exercises for my spirit?

“Don't count on your warhorse to give you victory – for all its strength, it cannot save you. But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love... We depend on the Lord alone to save us. Only he can help us, protecting us like a shield.” (Psalms 33:16-18, 20)

I highlighted this Psalm sometime in middle school when the pressure of working out was at its highest, and it came back to me one day a few years later. Rereading the passage, I thought of the good 'ol Sunday School days and the story of David and Goliath. David was a man of God, and although his physical stature wasn't impressive, his spiritual strength was off the charts. This gave him power over his enemy, the massive Goliath, and he freakin' killed the guy with one stone. So it hit me: I need to be as strong on the inside as I feel I am on the outside.

I came up with this idea that everyone has two looks.

One look is visible to the naked eye: that would be how you actually look. Are you aesthetically pleasing? I mean, are you pretty? Do you have freckles? Maybe blonde hair, blue eyes, typical Cali babe? Or you're a green-eyed brunette? Are your muscles huge? Nice arms, chest, bootie? Handsome? Do you dress well? Maintain superb hygiene? Are your pearly whites pearly white? Is your hair gelled? 

The other look is only visible to those who are wise enough to see it: that's the look of spiritual attractiveness, or to put it in simple terms, your “personality”. Do you talk behind your friends' backs? Are you the type to hold grudges? Do you pray? Do you lie or manipulate? Maybe even read the Bible? Go to church? Meditate?

Do you focus on what's on the inside as much as what's on the outside?

Back in the day, since I wasn't confident in how mean I looked, I'd always ask myself: “could I take him?” Okay, so maybe I couldn't win in a fight against the first string running back of the Varsity squad. Or even the second string. But the third string? Well, maybe not him either. But spiritually? That actually became a dilemma. If our souls were to go at war with each other, would mine have a chance at winning?

That sounds ridiculous, right? But the thing is, that mentality wasn't a vehicle to measure myself against others and then pride myself on it. Rather, it was a way to measure myself against where I was at that moment in time, and the steps I must take to become wiser. It's a constant reminder that says, “Hey, your muscles don't need to be big in order to be yolked in the eyes of Jesus.” Goodness, this sounds so weird, but it's true! Think about it. Does it matter to you how the Creator sees you – for who you really are, and not who you pretend to be – or what people think you are? Take Jesus out of the question for a second. Are you as honest with yourself as you make yourself out to be to others? I mean, no dude likes to think, “I'm a tool,” but indeed people may see that guy as a tool; no girl likes to think, “I'm a b***h,” but others may definitely see her that way. So where is the disconnection between what you think your are and what others perceive you to be?

What if you think you're ugly, or fat, or pimply (embrace it!), or too skinny – but other people tell you you're fine? Are they just lying? I don't think so. I suggest to keep those people close. Man, the people who see the best in you regardless of what you see – now that's the type of person you need to cling onto, learn from, and eventually become. Disregard the imperfections in a person's physicality and see that person for who he or she really is. Sometimes that person may just be mean. Well, so be it. Can't change them. That's probably why I never was close friends with the self proclaimed popular kids in high school. They were all good looking, I'll give them that much, but I never thought too highly of them because they were all mean! Oh well, nobody's perfect. I'm often guilty of having a superficial outlook. I'm trying to work on it, 'cause I know in the reverse situation, I'd probably get the short end of that stick.

I can only hope that if you “keep it one-hundred”, then people will really see you the way you want them to. Regardless, haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate, 'n' aliigators gonna alligate. You'll always have people who don't like you. I mean, I wouldn't go as far as saying, “I love my h8rs,” simply because I don't really think anyone likes it when a person hates you. They may not care, but that's different.

Back to the point. I have learned that being physically strong and chiseled without taking the time to become spiritually strong and ripped is pointless. The good thing is that one usually leads to the other, and regardless of which comes first, it's a step in the right direction toward a healthy life and a happy one, too. Get your spiritual muscles pumping! Take the time out of your day – when you get up, before you go to bed – to pray and give thanks. Being honest is refreshing, and being genuine will give you chances to flex that beautiful soul of yours.

The Christian / Gay Dilemma

This past week my mother was in from Michigan, visiting me here in the beautiful town of Orange. My bedroom is sort of bland – beige walls, black furniture – so we went to Ikea to spruce it up. Waiting for a piece of glass to be delivered to us post-checkout, I asked my mom what she thought about homosexuality. Random, right? Nah, I have these types of conversations with my mom all the time. I rarely get the chance to speak with her as intimately anymore, so I asked her.

“Well honey,” she says, “the Bible says it's an abomination.”

Classic Lydia – quoting straight from the Bible.

“You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination” (Lev 18:22).

In Leviticus, God burnt down the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah in a storm of fire. Massive wickedness and sin had been going down, and one especially important aspect of this sin is mentioned: two men attempted to homosexually rape two of God's messengers. God condemns a lot of things in Leviticus, including shaving. So I feel like a lot of the content in this book and the books of the Old Testament could be culturally-based, which is why I tend to favor the New Testament. We'll get into that in a few seconds.

I contested, “But there are so many people who love the Lord and are gay.”

I asked my mom to think of this hypothetical situation, a situation that I often pose to myself. There's a gay guy, but he loves the Lord and leads a great life, giving glory to the Father along the way. Yet, just because he's gay, he won't be able to enter Heaven? I know some homosexual people who are great people, and the sins that I've committed would blow theirs out of the water. But just because I'm straight, I get to go to Heaven, and they don't?

Man, this confused me. I've asked myself this question many times as I'm at that age where questioning my beliefs is something I find myself doing everyday. I even question the two testaments of the Bible. The Old Testament tends to favor lashings and whippings to those who indulge in homosexual acts; the New Testament favors repentance and forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

Since I'm not a huge fan of belts being whipped over my back, I prefer the latter. To me, the Old Testament is more of a teaching and the New Testament is more of the actual way we should live our lives. But, that's just the way I interpret it, and the written word is the written word, or so I'm told.

“The Bible says,” is what I always hear when I ask these types of deep/controversial/cultural/moral questions. Yeah, “the Bible says,” but shit man, we need to approach this stuff contextually. Look at the world here. There are so many homosexual families and couples who love Jesus, and even the ones who don't, they're more loving and caring than some of the most Christian people in my life. The world has changed, so why shouldn't we?

It's no doubt that Christians have a bad rep amongst the homosexual community. People think it's their divine right to judge others and the way they live their lives. So we see marches on Washington and picketers with their posters, upon their high horses, getting all up in the faces of our homosexual comrades. Hey dawg, guess what? If a gay person wants to get married, does that affect you? I'm not talking emotionally, I'm talking if that has a literal impact on the way you live your life – the way you raise your children, or the way you party on weekends, or the way you get to work? Nope. Who are you to deny them the right to be happy, or to judge who they love?

No doubt, I love my gay friends and the gay community. I accept them the way Jesus would accept them – as equals, feel me? Regardless of what the Bible says will happen or the way God will condemn, I just keep on keepin' on. Keep loving, keep praying for mercy. Neither am I in the position of enforcing my beliefs upon anyone, nor am I in a position of judging others under any circumstance. I know that I'm f**ked up in my own way, and I've got enough on my plate. You like men? Or you like women? Cool with me, brah. That makes little to no difference in the way I treat you. Unfortunately, it does to others who also bear the name of Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, and for that I am sorry.

I hate reading quotes, but this one is important.

“Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

This was written by Paul, an apostle of Jesus, in 1 Corinthians. See, he says that these are things that we were, but by Jesus's saving grace, we're washed of our sins, washed of our errors. And boom, we're saved. Now, I know I'm still a sinner, regardless. I'll keep sinning in my own ways just like everyone else, as much as I try not to, and gay people will keep being gay. I don't think that means we can't both be equally as washed of our sins and saved as the other. 

“The times may change,” my mom concluded as the Ikea attendant wheeled over the bulky cardboard box filled with the blue tabletop for my new desk, “but God doesn't.”

God is still the same. His word is still the same. This world may pass us up and make us question our faith, and we might look like old timers with our Bibles in our hands and our traditional ways. But I like to think that my God is merciful and faithful. He deserves more credit than being a gay-hating deity. He asks us to be like Jesus – the man who surrounded himself with sinners and even ditched his followers to go hang out with blind people and prostitutes. Damn, what an O.G.

TL;DR: I don't know who goes to Heaven, that's not really the question here. And forgive me, I know my argument has a lot of flaws, but I'm trying to make sense of this stuff, too. That's why I'm writing it. It's more of an exercise for me than it is a teaching for you. I'm just saying that we owe it to each other to be genuine and loving. Let God deal with who He wants the way He wants. With that, we cannot concern ourselves. The only thing we should be concerned about is living this life faithfully and lovingly as the saved sinners that we are.